Undergoing MyBlogLog Verification

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

the little black box

ok ok..enough about those mushy posts..i have been contemplating if ill blog about this or not..after all, my blog has lots of drafts waiting to be posted as soon as i feel like it..some get posted, others deleted..depends on my mood..thats the thing about blog, sometimes you reveal yourself, sometimes you dont..
i have this box which contains hubs emails, cards and the like..i left at home other boxes which contains letters from the ex-men too..i cant bring those here..or else, away!
i specifically reminded hubs to keep in a safe place, one that i can never see, whatever past love notes he has..i know he told me everything..loving a person and getting married is a package deal..you have to deal with the past, present and the future! hmm..yeah, that's the line he used to propose and the name of my ring!!
& so, this weekend, i saw his box and was able to read a portion of his past..a love note from his ex..luckily he told me everything about it and what was written has been discussed even before we got married..but still, i felt different..or else, i will not just retrieve his old messages/emails for me. .darn, why do i care? i know it happened..its just that seeing it did happen seems a different thing..i dont even think of confronting him as it will bring no good! what is there to discuss anyway? it happened five years ago..i wasnt a part of his life yet..
and the moment we met, he chose me.. no ifs not buts, lets get married! ive never met a guy so sure and so confident that i said yes! (after i asked for "the sign" of course) my goodness! god willed that we be partners in life! and hubs has been very honest from the start..he wanted to come clean so he told me everything..he even said that he knew i was his true love because he can be vulnerable and not fear...that he has opened himself up to me in no way he has done to any other person..not even his parents or this ex.. which is why he chose to marry me, the soonest time..not a day pass that he doesnt show his love as he has been sweet, and affectionate, dedicated, romantic, helpful..!i really couldnt ask for more.. hmm..so why am i feeling this?
maybe im just going nuts....i even blamed myself for reading that note.. it was too tempting to resist! .. i was alone & it was there! or maybe.. hormones?
basta , i know one thing..he loves me!!and he's seriously taking his vows..so i have to do the same.... after all, i truly love him!
"..i will support you in the ups and downs of life..i will keep the good memories alive and let the bad ones die.."

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