My dear dad

Warning : This is very sad. I just have to write now as I am again teary eyed.
This morning, I had a dream about my dad. In my dream, I was home when the phone rang. I picked it up. And on the other line was dad's voice, giving me instructions on a certain check, that it has to be deposited. I just cried..hearing him. I asked him how he was doing..and then the line was cut. And he was gone. And I cried, cried so hard.
Too bad I can't call him when I woke up. He passed away last September. Very untimely, as we were planning for his vacation here that month.
The last text message I got from him was during my birthday, where he wished me a wonderful year ahead and of course, his desire to be with his only grandchild M. He is a proud "lolo". During our vacation last April-May, he was so crazy with his "apo". When we left the Philippines, our phone calls would not be complete without him having to talk to M. My son would talk back in his goo goo gaa gaa voice, and some shrieks in between. It makes me happy in a way that at least Dad got to be with his grandson physically, even for just 6 weeks.
So when he was confined in the hospital last week of September, I had the urge to go home immediately. I left H and my baby M and flew home. That was the longest flight I ever took continously praying that Dad's gonna be ok and that we will all get through this. But then I was late. His liver failed and he had been revived twice but that was just it. Dad expired at 1030pm Friday night when my plane landed at 1010pm. At the airport, my cousins were unusually quiet. Not until I reached the hospital that my sister relayed the news. That was the saddest moment of my life. Ugh..
Good thing H and M followed me after 3 days. It was not a good flight for H (travelling alone with an 18 month old baby for 18 hours is unthinkable) but he managed to be with me. We stayed for 2 weeks in the Philippines. I got the chance to be with relatives & family & friends. And then, it was time to go back.
Until now, I still cry. I would have moments of crying when I start to think of him. My baby would look at me and that would make me cry more. I just miss my dad. I truly miss him.
I find peace in knowing that he is now with the Lord. I do pray that he is happy now that he is reunited with my mom and with God.
But still, I cant stop crying...